blindgirldreaming

This is the first end of summer since seventh grade that I will not be starting school. As I write this, Davidson’s first day of classes started last Thursday. The day before that, my brothers and sister woke up early to start their first day back. All that day I felt strange and a little melancholic. I feel like I should be starting school too. The summer’s over. It’s time to wake up early and get ready for long days of work. It’s time to have a fixed schedule and a plan and be stressed out and counting down the next days till break. It’s time for classes or Zoom meetings or something. But none of those normal things that I’ve gotten so used to are happening right now.  I spent the month of June agonizing over my decision, but finally decided to take a leave of absence from school this fall. It’s not just that I won’t be on campus. I’m not enrolled in classes at all. I never thought I would be pressing the pause button halfway through college, but here we are.  Why did I ...

This week’s post covers a topic I touched on in the last post. I already discussed how that gentleman on the porch picked the most awkward phrase possible—“that problem”—to refer to my blindness. But worse than that was how he asked my teacher about my blindness instead of asking me. He referred to me in the third person as if I were not there at all. I’ve had so many of these types of interactions with strangers that by now most of them have just faded into one frustrating blur.  But one of these incidents was so egregious that I’m pretty sure it will live on forever in my memory. I’m going to retell it here and then deconstruct it. Then by analyzing that incident, I will be able to explain what not to do when interacting with a blind person, why not to do it, and what to do instead.  I was walking around the mall with a friend. It was just a chill hangout sesh. We were chatting as we meandered through, not really looking for any stores in particular,, though we did stop ...

The Pain of Writing Maybe I should just start by saying it’s taken me weeks to write this blog post. Before I could make myself sit down and write, I had to shove aside all the clutter in my mind and tune out the chaos of my house. That proved and is proving to be an ongoing struggle. I’ve been experiencing an incredible lack of focus these past few months, and I don’t think I’m the only one. That’s part of the reason for this blog. I need to write instead of letting thoughts tumble endlessly in my head until they rob me of sleep and make me feel sad and stuck. But I also need accountability and direction. I don’t create when I don’t feel a sense of urgency. This is partly because I’m lazy and partly because I have a gift for stopping literary endeavors before I even get started.  This is what happens. I sit down with my open laptop, excited to start writing. Then I pause. I could write about literally anything. What should I pick? Then...